§ 198. The Rights and Duties of Spouses

What the rights and duties of spouses are is shown to us, first, by the very purpose for which marriage was instituted by God, and further by the laws, both ecclesiastical and civil. A detailed exposition of these rights and duties belongs to moral theology and to the system of civil law. In canon law it is enough to touch on this in general.

Among the rights and duties of spouses, some are general and mutually binding on both husband and wife, while others are particular to the husband or to the wife.

The general rights and duties are: 1) The performance of the conjugal duty. Both husband and wife are mutually bound to this, in keeping with the twofold purpose of marriage—namely, that they satisfy one another’s natural needs and that they beget children. “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence,” commands the New Testament law, “and likewise also the wife unto the husband; the wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife; defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time.”[1] The husband loses the right to demand the performance of this duty from the wife, or the wife from the husband, only when adultery is involved, or when something contrary to nature is thereby demanded.[2] 2) Conjugal fidelity. Husband and wife are bound to love one another mutually, to be unconditionally devoted to one another in everything, and diligently to cultivate everything that will make their conjugal love bright and enduring.[3] Conjugal fidelity is violated by every morally impermissible act, and in particular when husband or wife commits adultery, which destroys, at its root, the peace, honor, and reputation of the family. 3) Care for one’s children. Children are, for their parents, the fruit of their love and blood of their blood. In view of this, both divine and human law lay upon parents the duty of seeing to the physical, intellectual, moral, and religious upbringing of their children, and further of directing them so that they may afterward be capable of living independently and of being respected members of society. The neglect of this duty by parents is subjected by the canons to the gravest penalties. “Whosoever forsaketh his children,” says canon 15 of the Council of Gangra, “and doth not nourish them, nor guide them, so far as in him lieth, unto due piety, but neglecteth them under pretext of asceticism, let him be anathema.”[4]

Among the particular rights and duties of spouses, some concern the husband, others the wife: 1) By divine right the husband is the head of the family.[5] To him belongs the right to govern and rule the family, employing in this chiefly gentle counsel and avoiding harsh measures. Accordingly he has the right to respect and obedience from all who make up the family. 2) The wife, by that same right, must be the husband’s inseparable companion, must help him in everything and obey him when he commands what is good.[6] She takes her name from her husband and enjoys all the rights of his social position, and, in connection with this, is bound to follow him whenever he must change his place of residence.