On Repentance

Whoever desires to be saved must always keep the heart disposed toward repentance and contrition, as the Psalmist says: “The sacrifice of God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart God will not despise” (Ps. 50:19).

In such contrition of spirit a person can readily pass through the cunning snares of the proud devil without harm—for his entire effort consists in disturbing the human spirit, and in that disturbance sowing his own tares, according to the words of the Gospel: “Lord, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where then have the tares come from?” He said to them: “An enemy has done this” (Matt. 13:27–28).

But when a person strives to keep within himself a humble heart and a mind that is not troubled but at peace, then all the snares of the enemy become powerless; for where there is peace of thoughts, the Lord God himself dwells: “In peace,” it is said, “is his dwelling place” (Ps. 75:3).

The beginning of repentance springs from the fear of God and attentiveness, as the holy martyr Boniface says: the fear of God is the father of attentiveness, and attentiveness is the mother of inward peace, which gives birth to conscience, and conscience acts so that the soul, as in some clean and undisturbed water, sees its own ugliness—and thus arise the first fruits and roots of repentance.

Throughout our entire lives we offend the majesty of God by our transgressions, and therefore we must always humble ourselves before him, asking forgiveness for our debts.

Can a person who has received grace rise again after a fall?

Yes, according to the Psalmist: “I was pushed hard so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me” (Ps. 117:13); for when the prophet Nathan reproved David for his sin, David repented and at that very moment received forgiveness.

Another example is a certain hermit who, having gone to fetch water, fell into sin with a woman at the spring. But upon returning to his cell he acknowledged his transgression and once again began to live the ascetic life as before. The enemy troubled him, setting before him the gravity of the sin, denying the possibility of forgiveness, and trying to draw him away from the ascetic life. But the soldier of Christ stood firm on his path. Concerning this incident, God revealed it to a certain blessed father and commanded him to call blessed the brother who had fallen into sin for having won such a victory over the devil.

When we sincerely repent of our sins and turn to our Lord Jesus Christ with our whole heart, he rejoices over us, prepares a feast, and calls to it the heavenly Powers dear to him, showing them the coin he has found again—that is, his royal image and likeness. Laying the lost sheep on his shoulders, he brings it to his Father. In the dwelling of all who rejoice, God settles the soul of the one who has repented together with those who never strayed from him.

Therefore, let us not be negligent in turning quickly to our merciful Lord, and let us not give ourselves over to carelessness and despair because of our grievous and numberless sins. Despair is the greatest joy of the devil. It is “a sin that leads to death,” as Scripture declares (1 John 5:16; St. Antiochus, Homily 77). “And if you do not hinder this by your own slackness and negligence,” says St. Barsanuphius, “you will be amazed and will glorify God for how he brings you from non-being into being—that is, from sinner to righteous person” (St. Barsanuphius, Response 114).

Repentance for a sin consists, among other things, in not committing it again.

Just as there is a remedy for every illness, so there is repentance for every sin.

Therefore, draw near to repentance without hesitation, and it will intercede for you before God. Continually offer this prayer of St. Antiochus: “Daring, O Master, to appeal to the depth of your compassion, I bring you from impure lips and unclean mouth this prayer: Remember that your holy name has been called upon me, and you have redeemed me with the price of your blood; you have sealed me with the pledge of your Holy Spirit, and you have raised me from the depth of my transgressions, lest the enemy seize me. Jesus Christ, protect me and be my strong helper in battle, for I am a servant of passion and am warred upon by it. But you, O Lord, do not leave me cast down upon the earth in the condemnation of my deeds; free me, O Master, from the evil bondage of the ruler of this world, and join me to your commandments. The way of my life, O my Christ, and the light of my eyes—it is your face. O God, Master and Lord, do not give me haughtiness of eyes, and remove evil desire from me; protect me with your holy hand. May cravings and lusts not encompass me, and do not deliver me to a shameless soul. Enlighten in me the light of your face, O Lord, lest darkness encompass me and those who walk in it seize me. Do not deliver to unseen beasts, O Lord, the soul that confesses you. Do not allow, O Lord, your servant to be wounded by foreign dogs. Grant me to become a dwelling-place of your Holy Spirit, and build me, O Holy Father, into a house of your Christ. Guide of the lost, guide me, lest I turn aside to the left. The sight of your face, O Lord, I have longed for. O God, guide me by the light of your face. Grant tears to me your servant, and give the dew of your Holy Spirit to your creation, lest I wither like the fig tree you cursed; and may tears be my drink, and prayer my food. Turn, O Lord, my mourning into joy, and receive me into your eternal tabernacles. May your mercy reach me, O Lord, and may your compassions encompass me, and forgive me all my sins. For you are the true God who forgives transgressions. And do not allow, O Lord, the work of your hands to be put to shame because of the multitude of my transgressions; but call me back, O Master, through your only-begotten Son, our Savior. And raise me up as I lie fallen, as you raised Levi the tax-collector, and give me life though I am slain by sins, as you gave life to the son of the widow. For you alone are the resurrection of the dead, and to you glory is due forever. Amen” (St. Antiochus, Homily 77).