Acquire the Unceasing Habit of Standing Before the Lord

As I see it, your soul finds no peace. Why would it not find peace, working for the Lord, who is our peace? It seems you must decide this for yourself. When the soul is restless in the world, that is natural: the world cannot satisfy the spirit. But when someone begins to serve the Lord, he should taste peace right away, even if not complete. But you are troubled, and you have been on this path for a long time. So examine yourself and decide this. No one else can decide it for you.

You wrote that you stand for prayer, begin the Jesus Prayer—and then stop, considering yourself unworthy to stand noetically before the Lord. I do not understand what you mean. You must not only stand before the Lord when you pray, but always walk before Him as if looking into His face or being under His eyes. For that is exactly what it is. But you—just when your thought stands before the Lord, you run away.

If the Lord forbade coming before Him, certainly there would be something sensible in your action; but when the Lord Himself draws near (See: Lam. 3:57), requires all to draw near to Him (See: James 4:8), what sense does your action have? You have written this a second time. Please stop this and strive to acquire the unceasing habit of standing before the Lord. From the moment you wake until you fall asleep, and all through the time with fear and trembling and all your attention, both to yourself and to the Lord.

(Letter 774, vol. 5, p. 33–34)