Chapter 95
On Meditation on God in Prayer
95.2.1 May the mercy of God be with you!
95.3.1 You have all manner of infirmities.[1] It’s getting to the point where now one thing, now another makes itself known. It seems you’ve already taken the tonsure and become an eldress.[2] I congratulate you. That’s an honourable title. But do bear the marks of old age as well.[3] My eyes are failing me, my legs twitch (always from midnight for an hour or two), and just recently I’ve noticed an irregular pulse.[4] I don’t think that’s anything to worry about. The whole thing comes down to this: the heart skips a beat (thus: [Incomplete source text] [Incomplete source text] [Incomplete source text] [Incomplete source text] ● .[5] ● .).[5]
95.4.1 That you remain with the Jesus Prayer alone is to be counted a good state of affairs. But the fact that its effect is not what it was before – I think this depends on your remaining with this practice alone. Add meditation on God – at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end – or... since this goes on unceasingly with you... frequently, as you wish. Meditation on God is deepened reflection on the economy of salvation – either in general, or on some one subject that forms part of it. As soon as you wake up, survey everything: from creation to the Second Coming, the judgement, and the decision of everyone’s fate. – This is quick... And keep the prayer going while you get ready. – Then take one subject and go deep into it until it embraces your heart... And in that embrace say the prayer afterward... And so all day long... mix meditation on God with prayer. The Lord is near to all who call upon Him.
95.5.1 Dunya, perhaps, when she’s left alone after you, will manage herself the way you’re leading her now. Who wants harm for themselves?! So she too will understand what’s bad... and will avoid it. Then life itself will teach you.
95.6.1 You have something like an epidemic there. May the Lord save you! But here we have nothing but frost—and it’s been that way for a long time. Anything rotten wouldn’t dare show its face to us.
95.7.1 Be of good courage!
95.8.1 May the Lord bless you, and Dunia, and your entire monastic community.
95.9.1 Your well-wisher, Bishop Theophan.
95.10.1