How to Subdue the Passions of the Flesh

With the passions of the flesh, my brother, one must struggle in a way distinct from other passions. In order that this may proceed in proper order for you, know that there is one thing you must do before temptation by these passions, another during temptation, and yet another after it has ceased.

Before temptation, your attention must be directed to the causes that ordinarily serve as occasions for producing temptation or arousing passion. The rule here is this: avoid as far as possible all occasions that may disturb the peace of your flesh, and especially encounters with persons of the other sex. And if the need sometimes arises to converse with such a person, do so briefly, maintaining not only modesty but also a certain seriousness in your bearing—and your words, though courteous, should be restrained rather than agreeable.

“Do not trust your enemy forever,” says the wise Sirach. And you—never trust your body, for just as copper of itself produces rust upon itself, so the corrupt nature of the body produces from itself evil movements of lust. ”As copper rusts, so does his wickedness” (Sir. 12:10). Do not trust—I repeat it to you again—do not trust yourself in this respect, even if, let us say, you do not feel, and have not felt for some time, this sting of your flesh. For this thrice-wretched evil, which may have done nothing for many years, sometimes acts in a single hour and a single moment—and it usually prepares its attacks in silence. Know that the more it disguises itself as a friend and gives not the slightest cause for suspicion, the greater the harm it inflicts afterward, and not infrequently it strikes mortally.

Everyone must also fear above all those persons of the other sex with whom one considers it proper to maintain the ordinary intercourse of daily life—whether because they are relatives, or because they are devout and virtuous, or because some benefit has been received from them and one needs to express gratitude to them more frequently. This must be feared because in such intercourse, pursued without fear and without attention to oneself, there is almost always mixed a destructive sensual sweetness, which then little by little imperceptibly penetrates the soul to its very depths, so darkening the mind that those who have contracted this infection begin to regard as nothing every dangerous occasion of sin—such as passionate glances, sweet words exchanged on both sides, alluring movements and postures of the body, handshakes—and they finally fall into the sin itself, and into other diabolical snares from which sometimes they cannot free themselves at all.

Flee this fire, my brother, for you are gunpowder—and never dare in your self-confidence to think that you are gunpowder soaked through and filled with the water of good and strong resolve. No, no! Think rather that you are bone-dry gunpowder and that you ignite the instant you feel that fire. Trust not at all in the firmness of your determination and your readiness to die rather than offend God by sin. For even if we grant that you are on account of this dampened gunpowder, yet through frequent association and sitting face to face, the fire of the flesh will little by little evaporate the moistening water of your good will, and you yourself will not notice how you come to blaze with fleshly love to such a degree that you will cease to be ashamed before men or to fear God, and will count as nothing honor, life, and all the torments of hell, pressing on toward the commission of sin.

Flee, then—flee with all your might:

1) From association with persons who could be a stumbling-block for you, if you sincerely desire not to fall captive to sin and not to pay its wage, which is the death of the soul. The wise Solomon calls that person wise who fears and avoids the occasions of sin, but the one who, trusting much in himself, does not avoid them out of self-confidence, he calls foolish, saying: ”A wise man fears and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless” (joining himself with lawlessness) (Prov. 14:16). Was it not to this that the Apostle Paul pointed when he commanded the Corinthians: ”Flee sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18)?

2) Flee idleness and laziness, and stand watchfully, keeping a vigilant eye on your thoughts and wisely ordering and conducting the affairs required by your situation.

3) Never disobey your superiors and spiritual fathers, but willingly submit to them in everything, quickly and readily fulfilling whatever they command—and above all that which is humbling to you and contrary to your will and your inclinations.

4) Never allow yourself to judge your neighbor boldly; judge and condemn no one—and especially not for this very carnal sin of which we are speaking, even if someone has openly fallen into it. Rather, have compassion and pity for him; do not be indignant toward him and do not mock him, but from his example draw for yourself a lesson in humility, and knowing that you yourself are extremely weak and prone to evil, like dust on the road, say to yourself: today he has fallen, and tomorrow I shall fall. Know that if you are quick to judge and despise others, God will punish you sharply for it by permitting you yourself to fall into that very sin for which you condemn others. ”Judge not, that you be not judged” (Matt. 7:1)—and be not condemned for that same thing, so that through your own fall you may recognize the destructiveness of your pride and, humbled, seek healing from two evils: from pride and from fornication. But if God in His mercy guards you from falling and you hold fast an unwavering chaste mind, still cease from judging, if you have been judging, and do not be self-confident—rather, fear, and do not trust your own steadfastness.

5) Be attentive to yourself and keep watch over yourself. If you have received some gift of God, or are in a good spiritual state, do not harbor in self-conceit a vain and fanciful thought about yourself—as if you were something, and as if your enemies would not dare to attack you, and you so despise and disdain them that you would repel them instantly were they to venture near. The moment you think this, you will fall easily, like an autumn leaf from a tree.

This is what you should observe before the temptation of carnal passion.

During the temptation itself, do the following: identify as quickly as possible the cause from which the struggle has arisen, and remove it immediately. This cause may be either internal or external. External causes include: licentiousness of the eyes, speech pleasing to the ear, songs of the same kind both in content and melody, fashionable clothing of fine materials, perfumes pleasing to the sense of smell, familiar conversations and association, physical contact and handshakes, dancing, and much else of the same sort. The remedy against all of this is: modest and humble dress; the unwillingness to see, hear, smell, speak, or touch anything that produces this shameful movement; and above all the avoidance of association with persons of the other sex, as was said above. The cause of internal temptation is, on the one hand, a life of bodily ease and comfort in which all bodily desires find full satisfaction, and on the other, shameful thoughts which come either of themselves from the memory of things seen, heard, or experienced, or through the provocation of evil spirits.

As for life in full comfort and ease of the flesh, this must be countered by fasting, vigils, sleeping on a hard surface, and especially by many prostrations to the point of fatigue, and other voluntary bodily mortifications, as our holy and experienced fathers advise and command. Against thoughts, whatever their source, the remedy consists of various spiritual exercises suited to and demanded by your present condition—such as reading holy and soul-saving books, especially St. Ephrem the Syrian, John of the Ladder, the Philokalia, and others like them; devout meditation; and prayer.

When shameful thoughts begin to attack you, offer your prayer in this way: at once raise your mind to the Lord crucified for us, and cry out to Him from the depths of your soul: “My Lord Jesus! My most sweet Jesus! Hasten to my aid and do not let my enemy take me captive!” At the same time, embrace in mind and feeling—if it is near at hand—the life-giving cross upon which your Lord was crucified for you; kiss His wounds repeatedly and say to them with love: “Most beautiful wounds, most holy wounds, most pure wounds! Wound this wretched and unclean heart of mine, and do not allow me to shame and dishonor you with my impurity.”

Your meditation, at the time when shameful thoughts of carnal passion multiply within you, should not be directed immediately against them—though some advise this. Do not undertake to picture mentally before yourself the impurity and shamelessness of the sins of carnal lust, nor the pangs of conscience that will follow, nor the corruption of your nature and the loss of the purity of your virginity, nor the staining of your honor, and the like. Do not undertake this, I say, for such meditation is not always a reliable means of overcoming the temptation of the flesh; on the contrary, it may serve to intensify the struggle, and in some cases even to bring about a fall. For although the mind in this course will conduct its inner argument in reproach and opposition to the passion, yet since the thought, in spite of this, will still cling to its objects—toward which the heart is so partial—it is no wonder that while the mind pronounces such harsh judgments about such things, the heart will take pleasure in them and consent to them—which is an interior fall. No—one must meditate on subjects that will shield the soul from these shameful things and completely divert attention from them, while by their content sobering the heart. Such subjects are: the life and suffering of the Lord Jesus incarnate for us, the inevitable hour of our death, the dread day of the Last Judgment, and the various forms of hellish torments.

If, as often happens, these shameful thoughts continue to attack you with particular force and impetuosity even then—do not fear; do not cease meditating on the subjects just described, and do not turn to that manner of struggle in which you directly oppose the thoughts themselves by exposing their own objectionable aspects, as was said above. Do not do that, but continue as attentively as you can to meditate on the sobering and awe-inspiring subjects mentioned above, paying no attention whatever to those shameful thoughts, as though they were not your own. Know that there is no better way to drive them away than to despise them and count them as nothing. Interrupt this meditation frequently with a prayer such as this or one like it: “Free me, my Creator and Redeemer, from these my enemies, to the glory of Your sufferings and Your ineffable goodness.” And conclude your meditation with a similar prayer.

Take care, above all, not to turn the eye of your mind toward this carnal impurity, for even a single mental image of it is not without danger; and do not stop to converse with these temptations or about this temptation in order to determine whether your consent to it has occurred or not. Such an examination, though it appears good on the surface, is in reality a snare of the devil, who by this means seeks either to weigh you down, or to plunge you into faintheartedness and despair, or to keep you as long as possible in these thoughts and through them draw you into sin in deed—either of their own kind or some other.

Instead of any such examinations concerning these thoughts that trouble you, go and confess everything in detail to your spiritual father, and afterward remain at peace in your mind and heart, without troubling yourself with any questions, resting on your father’s decision. Only reveal everything to him—what has troubled and still troubles your mind and feeling in this temptation—hiding nothing and not allowing shame to tie your tongue; and humble yourself with deep self-abasement. For if in every struggle with enemies we have need of deep humility in order to conquer them, how much more is it needed in the time of carnal warfare? This is because this very temptation most often either springs from pride or is a correction and punishment for it. Hence St. John of the Ladder says that whoever has fallen into fornication or another carnal sin first fell into pride, and that permission to fall into sin was given so that he might be humbled: “Where a fall has occurred, pride lodged there first; for pride is the forerunner of a fall.” And again: “The punishment of the proud is a fall” (Step 23, 4, 10).

When at last the shameful thoughts grow quiet and the temptation passes, here is what you must do: however much it may seem to you that you are already free from carnal warfare and however certain of this you may feel, nonetheless take every care to keep your mind and attention far from those things and persons which were the cause of this temptation arising against you; do not at all give in to the call to visit them on the pretext that they are relatives, or that they are devout and your benefactors. Admonish yourself by the reminder that this too is the sinful delusion of our corrupt nature and a snare of our all-wily enemy the devil, who here ”disguises himself as an angel of light” in order to cast you into darkness, as St. Paul says (2 Cor. 11:14).