The Resolve to Live by Grace Must Not Stop at Mere Desire but Must Be Accompanied by Readiness for Labor and Struggle and by a Firm Drive to Attain the Goal. Once Resolved, One Must Begin at Once and Continue With Patience and Perseverance

And still not everything has been said. I set out to write yet something more in addition to what was said before. I am compelled to do so by the importance of the subject under discussion.

The radiance of the soul that divine grace has permeated completely—as fire permeates iron—is an attractive state. Hearing of it, everyone is ready to surge with the desire to attain it. I presuppose a similar impulse in you. But an impulse, though it shows that the soul knows how to choose what is better, does not express everything that is required on this occasion. One may surge and then stop—and nothing may come of the impulse. No, what is needed here is not an impulse alone, but a clear-headed consideration of the matter and the formation of a firm and unwavering resolution—in full awareness of all the labors, obstacles, and hardships that lie ahead—with courageous determination to stand against them, even to the laying down of one’s life.

The seeking of divine grace to permeate our entire being is the same as seeking the Kingdom of God, or becoming zealous for the salvation of the soul, or coming to love and choose ”the one thing… needful” (Lk. 10:42). The names and expressions differ, but the matter is one. I have taken a side that is more vivid. Whatever you call it, the thing itself is most desirable, and therefore one cannot but desire it. Ask anyone: “Do you want to go to paradise, to the Kingdom of Heaven?” — and at heart they will answer: “I do, I do.” But then say to them: “Well then, do this and that”—and their hands drop. One longs for paradise, but the will to labor for its sake is not always sufficient. I am leading up to the point that it is not enough merely to desire it; one must also form a firm resolution to attain what is desired without fail and to begin in actual deed the labors toward this attainment. So that this may be clearer to you, I will tell you how desires ordinarily rise to the level of resolution.

There are many subjects we think about and many things we plan to do. But we think and think—and then forget. This means that the soul has not been drawn to them: the soul was not drawn—and the memory of them is gone. What is remembered is what the soul is drawn to. When the soul is drawn to something—I mean, when a subject has appealed to us—we may find it pleasant to think about it or hold it in mind, to picture it to ourselves, but it may not yet arouse the desire to have it, or in the case of an action, to do it. We say: a fine thing, or a good deed—but what is that to us? We may admire them, but we see no impulse to reach after them or toward them. In order to desire something, the thing desired must have the closest personal relation to us—it must be useful to us, or necessary, or so appealing that life without it is dull and bitter. When a thing or a deed presents such aspects, we cannot hold back the desire for it: it forms inevitably. Let us suppose that we have come to desire something.

Is that already everything done? Not yet. How many desires remain unfulfilled for want of energy or of a sustained effort to fulfill them. For a desire to be fulfilled, it must be elevated to a firm intention, or resolution; the soul must say within itself: “I will obtain such-and-such a thing or do such-and-such a deed, whatever it takes.” When this word is pronounced in the soul, deliberations begin about how to bring into effect what has been decided: the thinking out of means, the determining of favorable circumstances of time and place, the anticipating of obstacles and the designating of measures to overcome them, and the most thorough survey possible of the entire course of the matter from beginning to end. When all of this has been mapped out in the soul, the soul stands fully ready for action.

Everything is ready for the deed, but the deed itself is not yet there—it must be begun, continued with constancy, patience, and corresponding diligence, until it reaches its end. Everything described up to this point is like having your sawmill, for example, made ready for sawing: the steam is up, the timber is brought alongside, and everything is set in order as it should be. All that remains is to set it in motion—and the work has begun. Setting it in motion is the crowning act of all the preceding preparations: it seems to add nothing to the doing, yet the accomplishing of the deed depends entirely on it. Just so in the passage from desire to resolution and deed: when the resolution has ripened and everything toward the doing has been thought through, one final and most necessary act remains—in which all the force lies—to begin doing. One might think: what is difficult about it, when everything is already ready? And yet this is the most difficult step. Everything up to the resolution occurred within; now our inner, mental work must enter into the realm of events and run its course alongside other things. Make only the first step, and then the very circumstances into which one who has begun the work will have entered will themselves begin to push him onward—to do and do more in the spirit and order that was begun. So there you have the whole procedure of the matter!

I say all this in order to point out what still remains for you to accomplish within yourself, so that the desire with which you have thrown yourself into God’s work may pass into actual deed. For your desire not to be an empty blossom, you must first bring it to a resolution—not a fleeting one, but weighty, deliberate, firm, rational, and above all, irrevocable—and then set about the work itself. The first part must all take place inwardly, through your own reflection combined with prayerful appeal to God for enlightenment and illumination of the mind regarding this most necessary matter. The second will not be difficult for you, judging by the order that is kept in your home.

May the Lord bless you, and may He bless the interior formation I have described to be accomplished within you!