Household Responsibilities. Singing and Music

I was in a hurry to bring to a conclusion, as quickly as possible, the discussion of the struggle with what is passionate—though one can never truly reach the end of it—and left almost without reply much of what you wrote during this time. To some questions you will find the answer in what has been written; to others I will now reply.

You write that you have many household cares. Do with zeal all that you are told to do. That is your duty. But do not fuss. Fussing (anxiety) is accompanied by agitation of all that is within, and that is something that ought not to be. Is it really impossible to consider calmly everything that is entrusted to you, and then do it, without any bustle, with a collected mind? In everyday life, if there is anything that hinders the spiritual life, it is not the tasks and occupations at all—it is the empty over-anxiousness that gnaws at the heart while being incapable of advancing the matter even a hair’s breadth, and it is this agitation that throws the thoughts into disorder like a whirlwind. From this always comes a great commotion, and the work makes no progress at all. Please distinguish, therefore, between proper zeal and improper anxiety and fussing, and learn to do all tasks soberly, not turning the mind away from the Lord, but on the contrary, holding to the conviction that through all of this you are pleasing Him.

You ask: “What is to be done about singing and playing the piano and the harmonium? Before, I played and sang without paying attention to the content of the pieces, but now it forces its way into my head. It is well known that not all pieces have good content, even if they are composed very harmoniously.” What is to be done? You cannot suddenly change everything at once. That would immediately attract notice. Sing and play what you sang and played before, trying not to pay attention to the content. Meanwhile, gradually select pieces with good or at least tolerable content, and sing and play those more, so that those who require you to sing and play will eventually forget entirely about the others. The harmonium is very capable of expressing church music fittingly. Obtain the compositions of Turchaninov and learn from them whatever pleases you most. Learn “God Save the Tsar,” “How Glorious Is Our Lord in Zion,” and the like. If you sing something of this kind with full feeling, I assure you it will please more than anything else. And then people will ask you to sing and play not empty little pieces, but precisely these majestic works. Some time ago you mentioned that people praise your voice and singing. They are doing their thing, and you do yours. When both are good, how could they not praise? But what lies before you is not to take pride in that, but to be humble. Your voice and your taste for singing—where did they come from? God gave them. What did God give them for? To scratch the ears of others, or for some other purpose? For no other purpose than that you might turn them to the glory of God. And have you been doing that? No. You only entertained yourself and others, and God was not mentioned at all. So you have been misusing God’s gift, squandering it on empty things. Now your thoughts have turned toward pleasing God—so turn also the use of God’s gift in that direction. If it is necessary to eat and drink to the glory of God, then all the more to sing and play. If you play and sing something that sinks into the souls of the hearers and makes them sigh toward the Lord, or rise to Him with praise and thanksgiving, then you will be doing the same as a good preacher does in church. And there is the saving fruit of the gift! Please direct its use toward that end. Select both secular and spiritual pieces that are edifying, and sing and play only those. That is for others; but for yourself, by yourself, never sing anything secular—only the spiritual. But I will repeat again: do not change things all at once, but gradually.

And in general, do not display anything unusual. Be with everyone just as friendly, good-spirited, and cheerful as always. Only refrain from laughter, jesting, and all empty talk. One can be friendly, cheerful, and pleasant without these things. Under no circumstances, for any reason, be sullen. When the Savior told those who fast to wash their faces, anoint their heads, and comb their hair, He meant precisely that they should not be sullen (Matt. 6:16–17).

May the Lord grant you wisdom!