The Pilgrim’s Consolation. Guidance on Thorough Confession. Brief Prayers and Unceasing Attentiveness to God

You have completed your journey! Glory to God! You see, my prediction of fatigue and aching has been fulfilled. And that which was promised to your soul has also been fulfilled. The Lord consoled you with the joy of Holy Communion, and Saint Sergius drove away your distress.

You write: “A strong and troubling distress arose in my soul; I turned to Saint Sergius—and the distress instantly dispersed, replaced by a quiet and pleasant calm.” You see, then: a cry from the heart is heard in Heaven at once, and at once an answer is sent down in response. Learn from this where you must seek comfort and guidance.

But the fact that at confession you left out some sin—that was not well done. Whether great or small, whether a deed or a word, if your conscience tells you it is a sin, it must be cleansed by confession and repentance. The essence of the sacrament of repentance consists in the absolution of the sin that is confessed. A sin left unconfessed is not absolved and remains on the soul, and it will go with the soul into the next life. It will be a dark stain—all the more noticeable on a white garment. Cleverness will be of no help there. One must do as ordained not by men but by the Lord Himself. The Lord says: ”Declare your transgressions first, that you may be justified” (Isa. 43:26). And for our comfort and to ease this sometimes not entirely simple task, He established by law: ”Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matt. 18:18). Fix this firmly in your mind and take it to heart: everything that is not loosed on earth through the God-ordained order remains unloosed in heaven as well. Hasten to make up for this omission. Now, in repenting of the sin you missed at confession, you must also repent of the fact that you knowingly left it out.

You did well in keeping up the short little prayer for nearly the entire journey. Learn always to be inseparable from it. It will gather your attention, drive away idle and vain thoughts, and keep you in a state to receive from the Lord, through your guardian angel, guidance at the hour of need. A small prayer is a great treasure. Nothing equals it among spiritual practices. Strive also to stand with attention in your heart, and not merely to repeat words unceasingly, but to hold the remembrance of the Lord, uniting with it a reverent fear. God is everywhere. Whether we think of Him or not, He is still there, wherever we are, and He sees everything. Judging in human terms, how grieved He must be when people pay Him no attention—though He sustains everyone, cares for everyone, and supplies everyone with every good. Exclude yourself from the number of those who are inattentive, and do not forget to turn the eye of your mind toward the Lord, or at least to hold in feeling alone the awareness that He is near—just as we sense that the sun is above us and warming us, even when we do not look at it. The attentive, reverent turning of the mind toward God from the heart is already prayer. Do this whenever you have the opportunity. As for the fact that standing before icons and making prostrations during the day may not be possible, do not trouble yourself greatly about that. But give the Lord all of your morning and evening hours. There read, reflect, and pray at greater length. Pretend to be asleep, but meanwhile, waking a little earlier, rise quickly and carry on a sweet conversation with the Lord. If you set yourself in order well in the morning, the whole day will go well. The remembrance of God, the reading of the Gospels and Epistles and other spiritually beneficial books will open up and establish in you a proper understanding. Your conscience will take these understandings under its care and begin to bring them into life, not allowing you to turn aside from the deeds they indicate. And life will be bright. Only make it your law never to do anything—great or small—against your conscience, and if something slips through, to satisfy your conscience immediately with repentance—your own interior, domestic repentance. You will confess before your confessor afterward. Conscience is a great thing. It is the voice of the omnipresent God in the soul. Whoever is at peace with it is at peace with God.

God bless you!