A Vow of Renunciation of the World. How to Conduct Oneself After Taking the Vow Until it is Fulfilled

May the mercy of God be with you.

Your last letter brought me indescribable joy. So you are finally resolved to dedicate your life to the service of the Lord, without being entangled in the affairs of ordinary life. May the Lord graciously receive this sacrifice and bless your good resolution! You have spoken before the Lord—hold to it now, and from this point on arrange your thoughts so that you are already cut off from the world. I had heard from you before that your soul does not incline toward that way of life—partly on account of your weak health, partly out of fear of the failures you happened to observe in some families. But that was one kind of talk, and now it is another. The act is one and the same, but the soul in it is different. Before, it was an aversion to ordinary life based on ordinary considerations; now you are cutting yourself off from ordinary life in order to belong entirely to the Lord. Many people live without a family, but they live exactly as those who do have one—with the same cares and pursuits. Your resolution is not in that spirit. It comes from an entirely different source, belongs to a different order of life, and places you in that different order. Rekindle, then, the spirit in which your resolution was spoken.

The resolution has been spoken, but as to when and how to carry it out—that requires patient waiting. You cannot make a sudden leap given your circumstances, when everything, as you expect, will be opposed to it. A parental blessing is the first condition. It must be waited for. Wait and pray. The Lord, who planted this good intention in you, will Himself bring it to fulfillment in an imperceptible way—as a sled glides down a hill. Do not speak of it, but holding that one thought in your soul, keep praying to the Lord that He may bring your intention to fulfillment as His wise will knows best.

Meanwhile, inwardly attune yourself to that way of life—not through changes in external arrangements, but through inner structure. By this I mean nothing extraordinary, but the very same things that were written about so much before and that you have already begun to do. Take up everything that was indicated with greater decisiveness now. The foundation has been laid—build the structure.

You have turned your back on the world—do not turn your face toward it anymore.

Now you can completely refuse all distracting amusements and keep yourself more at home in solitude, occupied with some work, and between that work with occupations suited to the spirit of your frame of mind. Now you can act more decisively in this regard.

Let me also mention the main thing. In renouncing the world, one must draw still closer to God. You know this, but blessed will you be if you also begin to do it. Think more of God and of the things of God. The remembrance that the Lord is everywhere—with you and within you—bind this remembrance to your mind and carry it inseparably: as you work, as you sit, as you sleep and as you are awake. Join to this remembrance another one—the remembrance of death and of what follows death: of judgment and the determination of eternal destiny. These two remembrances are two mighty guardians of every good. They will themselves teach you everything, kindling in you the saving fear of God—the source of divine wisdom.

All of this you already know. I mention it in passing, so that you will take hold of it more decisively. The word most needful to you right now is: God bless you! But await its fulfillment with patience.