The Apostle Reading for the Day, February 1, 1840

A certain monk, by the inscrutable judgments of God, entered upon the field of temptations. On the day of his entering that field, the sixty-second passage of the First Catholic Epistle of Peter was read at the liturgy: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial that has come upon you for your testing”, and so forth (1 Pet. 4:12). The words proclaimed by the Apostle struck the monk with particular force: “For it is time for judgment to begin at the house of God” (1 Pet. 4:17). It seemed to the monk that these words had been proclaimed expressly for him.[1] Beneath the outward action of men and demons—who are but blind instruments of Divine providence—a mysterious, higher judgment is accomplished: the judgment of God.

If the consequence of this judgment is punishment, then that punishment is the fruit of justice. And if justice issues in punishment, then punishment is a reproof of guilt—a reproof from God. In vain, therefore, do I count myself a righteous man unjustly punished; in vain do I struggle with clever justifications—which I myself in my conscience know to be lies—to excuse myself and blame others. Self-appointed righteous man! Turn the gaze of your mind upon your sins, unknown to men but known to God, and you will confess that the judgments of God are righteous and your self-justification is shameless cunning. With reverent submission, offer up praise to the judgment of God, and justify the instruments chosen by God for your correction. The peace of Christ will descend into your heart. By that peace you will be reconciled to your sorrows, and will surrender yourself and everything to the will of God with self-denial. One care, one care alone will remain in you: the care for a most exact and genuine repentance, which destroys the enmity between man and God and unites man to God. The foundation of repentance is self-knowledge—full knowledge of one’s sinfulness.