Provide for Your Own; the Widows Indeed (1 Timothy 5:8–13)

1 Tim. 5:8. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

If the preceding words are referred also to children and grandchildren, seeing in them this commandment: instill, require, and oblige them to give rest to mothers and grandmothers, so that they may be free from reproach—then the present verse, directly answering that thought, presents a motive for acting in accordance with the proposed exhortation, showing how out of place is conduct contrary to it. Care for your own; for he who does not care for them has denied the faith and has become worse than an unbeliever.

If in the preceding verse one sees some other of the thoughts proposed, then for the connection of the present verse with the preceding ones, one must insert this supplementary statement: as for what I have laid upon children and grandchildren as a duty—to care for the widows in their household, their mothers or grandmothers—this is so urgent that if anyone does not act thus, he has denied the faith and has become worse than an unbeliever.

By “his own” and “those of his household” are meant relatives in general, among whom “those of his household,” οικειοι, are those who live in the same house, while “his own,” ιδιοι, are all other relatives living separately. Thus the Apostle requires that relatives care for one another mutually and help those among their own who are in need. He who does not fulfil this, says the Apostle, by that very act “has denied the faith.” “His deeds are not the deeds of a believer” (blessed Theophylact)—or such deeds expose in him an unbeliever, showing that he is estranged from the faith; he confesses God with his lips but denies Him by his deeds (Tit. 1:16). Faith requires mercy not only toward one’s own blood relatives but toward all who are in need. “How can one be merciful toward strangers who despises people of his own kin and family?” (holy Chrysostom). It is true that sometimes a person, passing over his own, benefits strangers; but this is always done for show. “Do not all call it vainglory when someone, benefiting strangers, despises and does not spare his own—despite the fact that benefiting the latter would be both easier and more just for him?” (holy Chrysostom). — Thus one who is unmerciful toward his own evidently does not have a believing heart and is the same as an unbeliever. But the Apostle goes further and maintains that such a person is even worse than an unbeliever: “is worse than an unbeliever.” An unbeliever who acted thus would violate only the natural law, whereas this person, acting thus, violates both the natural and the written law (holy Chrysostom). And compare him with the unbeliever who cares for his relatives solely by the law of nature—how much worse will he prove to be? — “God established the bonds of kinship precisely so that we might have more occasions for benefiting one another. Therefore if you do not do what the unbeliever does, have you not denied the faith and become worse than the unbeliever? And if one who does not care for those of his household has denied the faith and become worse than an unbeliever—where must he be placed, and what position will he occupy, who wrongs those of his household? It is not the same thing to despise a distant person and one who is close. It is far more blameworthy to despise an acquaintance than a stranger, a friend than an enemy” (holy Chrysostom). And all the more so a blood relative.

Bb) How to deal more particularly with widows (1 Tim. 5:9–15)

From verse 9 to verse 15 the discourse concerns certain special widows; but from verse 11 it is visible what kind of widows are meant—namely the young. As for what is said in verses 9 and 10, it is not clearly visible what kind of widows are meant. That these are not simply widows cared for by the Church in general is evident from the conditions: not less than sixty years of age, the wife of one husband, having toiled greatly in service to others. For, as said above, any helpless widow deserves the care of the Church; and such a one may be not so old, may have had more than one husband, and may not have been able to serve others in the manner specified. So these are certain special widows. What kind? Are they not deaconesses? This seems likely, as one may judge from the good qualities and deeds required of them: the wife of one husband, having raised children, “has received strangers.” For such qualities are required, according to the Apostle, of persons chosen for the clergy (chapter 3), among whom deaconesses were also numbered. But the service of a deaconess required strength: for besides assisting at the baptism of women and overseeing order among them in the Church, it fell to them to visit the poor and the sick; and at sixty years of age, what strength do women have? If not deaconesses, then who are they? One is led to suppose that these are widows who have lived long and laboured much for others, and who have now spent their strength—and therefore need shelter, support, and care. This supposition may be completed thus: while all widows in general received assistance to supplement what they could earn by their own labours, these were fully provided with food, clothing, shelter, and care. Among their number deaconesses could and should also have been included. — Our commentators all do not see deaconesses here and understand the Apostle’s words as a continuation of the discourse about widows in general. Holy Chrysostom says: “Above the Apostle indicated what a widow ought not to have; now he shows what she ought to have.”

α) Elderly widows (1 Tim. 5:9, 10)

1 Tim. 5:9, 10. Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one husband, well attested for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the feet of the saints, if she has helped the afflicted, if she has devoted herself to every good work.

“Be enrolled,” καταλεγεσθω,—let her be entered in the register of widows, or “let her be placed in the widows’ institution, εις το χηρικον” (Oecumenius). “It is just that she be entered in the church records who has shown herself worthy of this by her former life. She who previously devoted her labours to the Church is worthily received into the bosom of the Church (under its care)” (Ambrosiaster).

“Not less than sixty years old.” “In indicating what a widow worthy of the widows’ register ought to have, the Apostle places first her specific age—namely sixty. Nevertheless, as is evident from the following words, he does not approve a sixty-year-old woman simply on account of her age alone; for even such a one may prove unworthy” (blessed Theophylact). “What then, will you judge her by her years? But what merit is there in that? For it was not in her power to have lived sixty years. It is not by age alone (that one must judge), he says—so that even if she had passed that age but had no merits, she should not be enrolled (among the widows)” (holy Chrysostom). A young widow too may prove worthy of attention; but since she still has her strength, let her support herself. “Those who are in the bloom of youth and able to work and earn their livelihood should bridle the impulses of youth by their labours” (blessed Theodoret).

“Having been the wife of one husband.” This is cited as testimony that she did not love worldly pleasures and luxurious living, but led a strict and temperate life. “The Apostle requires monogamy from her as a sign of her dignified integrity and love of chastity” (blessed Theophylact).

“Well attested for good works.” One of whom all say only good things, testifying that they saw her only in the doing of good deeds. This is the general characteristic. After this “the Apostle enumerates in particular what specific deeds make a widow worthy of provision” (blessed Theophylact).

“If she has brought up children,” ετεκνοτροφησεν,—has fulfilled as she ought this first duty that rests upon a wife and mother. Praiseworthy child-rearing does not consist merely in feeding children, but chiefly in their godly upbringing (blessed Theodoret). “Truly, it is no small matter to bring up children. But bringing up children does not consist in simply feeding (raising) them, but in rearing them properly—as the Apostle said above, that a woman ‘shall be saved through childbearing, if they (her children) continue in faith and love and holiness’ (evidently having been grounded in this by upbringing) (1 Tim. 2:15) (holy Chrysostom). For this God approved Abraham as well, saying that he commanded ‘his sons and his household after him to keep all the ordinances of the Lord God’ (Gen. 18:19)” (blessed Theodoret).

“If she has washed the feet of the saints, if she has received strangers.” Above he pointed to domestic virtues—close and most at hand—and then to virtues toward outsiders who are not, however, strangers in faith. For “the saints” are Christians. “Do you see that he everywhere places above the benefaction done to those close by that done to strangers? For he says first: ‘if she has brought up children’—and then: ‘if she has washed the feet of the saints’ and so on” (holy Chrysostom). Washing of feet is the first act of receiving strangers. One must first receive the stranger, then wash his feet. Theodoret, Ambrosiaster, Oecumenius, and Theophylact read: first “she has received strangers,” and then—“has washed feet.” But holy Chrysostom reads first the washing of feet, and then the receiving of strangers. For if by receiving strangers one understands not merely letting them in to the house but their actual reposing, this followed the washing of feet. Both, however, constitute one virtue—hospitality—the solicitous care for giving rest to strangers. “Thus it was done in ancient times. Thus Lydia received the Apostle himself and those with him. Thus of Phoebe he said: ‘she has been a helper of many, and of myself also’ (Rom. 16:2)” (blessed Theodoret).

Holy Chrysostom makes an extended application from these words: “Do you see that the Apostle calls hospitality not simply good will, but good will combined with zeal, good intention, and eagerness that takes up the work as if preparing to receive Christ Himself? For he wishes them not to entrust the serving of the saints to maidservants, but to perform this themselves in person. ‘If I then,’ says the Lord, ‘have washed your feet… the Teacher, (how much more) you ought to wash one another’s feet’ (Jn. 13:14). For even if one of them were infinitely rich, even if she had attained the greatest fame and prided herself on the nobility of her ancestors—even then there would not be such a distance as there was between God and the disciples. If you receive a stranger as Christ, you have no reason to be ashamed—be rather proud of this deed; but when you do not receive him as Christ, it is better not to receive him at all. ‘He who receives you receives Me’ (Matt. 10:40), the Lord said. As soon as you do not receive him thus, you will receive no reward. Abraham, as it seemed to him, was receiving men—passing travellers; yet he did not entrust all the preparation for receiving them to his household servants, but himself personally performed most of the serving and commanded his wife to knead the flour—despite having three hundred and eighteen household servants, among whom there were presumably maidservants as well. He wished to receive together with his wife the reward not only for the expense but also for the serving. Thus we must fulfil the duty of hospitality, doing everything ourselves, that we ourselves may be hallowed, that our very hands may be blessed. This is hospitality; this is in truth the fulfilment of this duty for God’s sake. — Well did the Apostle say: ‘if she has washed the feet of the saints.’ He said this with the purpose of stirring all to imitation. Therefore let us too hasten to fulfil this, that we too may be praised for having washed the feet of the saints. — The feet of the saints have great power. Therefore they also bring down punishment when they shake off the dust. When a holy person comes to us, we must not be ashamed to do something of this sort for him (like washing feet, though it has fallen out of custom). And the saints are all those who have right faith and live in godliness: they are holy, even if they work no signs and cast out no demons.”

“If she has relieved the afflicted.” Bringing up children and receiving strangers are domestic virtues: children are always at hand, strangers come of themselves. Both can be fulfilled without going outside the door of the house and without particular personal initiative. There is labour in this too, but not greatly exerted. Therefore the Apostle, for the completeness of the widow’s virtue, moves the widow into the houses of mourning and poverty—which even Ecclesiastes named as a good thing to enter (Eccl. 7:2, 3)—and praises one who “has relieved the afflicted,” επηρκεσεν,—who has satisfied the afflicted, meeting the need that was the cause of their grief—“with money, or by intercession and mediation” (blessed Theophylact).

“If she has devoted herself to every good work.” This is either the same thing as what was said at the beginning: “well attested for good works”—only with a special trait: of quickness, irresistible eagerness for every good thing: as soon as an occasion to do good presented itself, she took it up at once with all her energy and did not step back until she had carried through what she had begun. “The Apostle has therefore encompassed all forms of virtue in this” (blessed Theodoret). Or “devoted herself” means: she followed the example of. What was indicated before she did on her own initiative; but not content with this, she also did every good that she saw other good Christians doing. Or this denotes assistance to others through labour. When someone performing some task could not manage it alone, she came with her services and helped him accomplish it. “What commandment does the Apostle give here?” asks holy Chrysostom, and answers: “He commands the giving of material help (‘bodily service’ [blessed Theophylact])—to take part in tasks, to serve—to make a bed, for instance, to give rest—things for which women are most suited” (the same in blessed Theophylact).

“Do you see,” let us conclude with the words of holy Chrysostom, “that in order to become a (true) widow, it is not enough to refrain from a second marriage—much else is needed as well? The Apostle requires of a widow such perfection as he does not require even of virgins—despite the fact that he required great perfection of the latter also: for, having said that a virgin must be honourable and devoted to the Lord without distraction (1 Cor. 7:35), he indicated in general terms every virtue. And moreover—he requires of a widow almost the same perfection as of a person clothed with the episcopal rank.”

β) Young widows (1 Tim. 5:11–15)

Holy Paul takes a strict attitude here toward young widows. Experience showed that some of them did not hold out in the vow of widowhood; and moreover, having weakened in their resolve to hold strictly to the vow they had given, they also allowed themselves generally reprehensible conduct. Therefore the Apostle expresses the wish that young widows would better enter into a second marriage, so as not to give occasion to the adversary—the devil—to mock them by luring them off the true path of widowhood.

1 Tim. 5:11, 12. But refuse younger widows; for when they have grown wanton against Christ, they want to marry, having condemnation because they have rejected their first faith.

“Refuse”—deny younger widows admission to the order of widows. “The Apostle forbids receiving young widows into this order, because an age always ready to stumble should not easily be trusted” (Ambrosiaster). “Young widows themselves gave occasion for this rule by not holding out in widowhood” (blessed Theophylact).

“When they have grown wanton,” καταστρηνιασωσιν,—when they have fallen under the irresistible impulses of the sensory life—pleasurable, pleasure-seeking, comfort-seeking. “What does καταστρηνιασωσιν mean? That is—when they become insensible, when having grown cold toward widowhood they neglect it, grow hardened toward it—when, conquered by the desire for pleasures, they only pretend to hold themselves aloof from marriage while in reality they desire it—and consequently with rude arrogance or insensibility turn their eyes away from Christ as their bridegroom” (Oecumenius, blessed Theophylact). “Widows too by their widowhood (when they resolve to remain widows) are betrothed to Christ” (holy Chrysostom). “Therefore they are placed in the same order of life as virgins. To them too may be applied the word of the Apostle: ‘I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a pure virgin to Christ’ (2 Cor. 11:2). Now however, when, despite having devoted themselves to Christ, ‘they want to marry’—they desire marriage and a husband—they evidently no longer wish Him alone to be their bridegroom, and preferring a man to Him, they act against Him with arrogance” (Oecumenius, holy Chrysostom, blessed Theophylact).

“Having condemnation because they have rejected their first faith.” “By faith he means the vow; as if to say: they have deceived Him, rejected Him, broken the vow” (holy Chrysostom). For “having resolved to live in widowhood chastely for Christ, they enter into a second marriage” (blessed Theodoret). “In adopting such a resolve—to remain widows for Christ—they enter into a covenant with Him, that they are betrothed to Him forever. Inclining now toward marriage with a man, they break this covenant and for this are subject to condemnation” (Oecumenius, blessed Theophylact). “Condemnation,” κριμα,—a transgression, liable to judgment and condemnation. “It is evident that they chose widowhood thoughtlessly, without proper consideration” (holy Chrysostom). To prevent such rash resolutions among believing widows, the Apostle writes the rule—not to rely on hasty vow-words. The Apostle wrote this also for the instruction of the widows themselves, “that they not dare what is difficult to fulfil. For it is unwise to give a promise whose firmness they themselves, on account of the youth of their age, should not trust. Having departed from it, they are justly subject to condemnation. For he is worthy of condemnation who departs from what he acknowledged as right and what, as right, he began to do. As praiseworthy as it is when one accurately fulfils what appears to exceed his powers, so blameworthy is he who, through unreasonable self-confidence, lays upon himself what he cannot bear” (Ambrosiaster).

1 Tim. 5:13. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but also gossips and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

A true widow, who has sincerely embraced widowhood, devotes herself to a life of solitude and strict discipline and, keeping watch over her soul, abides in prayer and labor. The spiritual satisfaction drawn from such a life confirms her in it more and more and serves as her support and protection against temptations. But a widow who has not thought all this through and who has rashly resolved on widowhood soon grows weary of it and grows cold toward it. When that happens, the duties of widowhood no longer occupy her mind. Sitting in solitude, praying, and laboring—it is tedious. She is driven to seek distractions, and off she goes from house to house; and with this there inevitably come talkativeness, curiosity, and improper speech. This is the second reason why young widows must be refused. The Apostle speaks as if to say: let one of them perhaps have no desire to enter a second marriage after her vow not to do so; yet if she does not take hold firmly of the duties of widowhood—solitude, labor, and prayer—which is naturally what one would expect from a young woman—she will quickly become an idle wanderer, a gossip, and a busybody, a scandal to all, both her own and strangers. And this alone is sufficient reason to act with greater caution in their regard. St. Chrysostom says: “Not only this fault (breaking the vow) do they incur, but other sins as well (idleness, roaming from house to house). What profit is there if they refuse the care of husbands and take no pains about God? They will then surely become idle, talkative, and needlessly inquisitive; for whoever takes no care of his own affairs will inevitably take care of others’, just as one who tends his own affairs will not speak of another’s, nor have any concern for them. There is nothing so unbecoming to a woman as to pry into others’ affairs in every possible way—and not only to a woman, but to a man as well, for this is the greatest sign of shamelessness and impudence.”

The occasion or starting point for such a deviation of young widows from decorous conduct may be, as blessed Theodoret supposes, the very provision made by the Church. “Enjoying the Church’s support and satisfying their bodily needs without anxiety, they live in idleness; and idleness brings evil thoughts with it.” And from thoughts the conduct itself then loses its decorum: out of idleness they go about from house to house—they become “gossips”—that is, talkers, φλυαροι,—“and busybodies”—that is, inquisitive, περιεργοι. This is all the more reprehensible if at the same time they shelter behind the title of their widowhood. “Those who have means, out of respect for widowhood, receive them into their homes, and they, having learned what their hosts like to hear, gather it from other houses and carry it back to them; for this they receive gifts from them—and in this way they grow accustomed to living more by gossip than by the labor of their hands” (Ambrosiaster).