Beginnings of Ascent to Living Communion With God

Having established himself inwardly, the convert directs all the power of his zeal toward the labors of self-correction from uncleanness and passions, toward freeing his forces and strengthening them in godly activity. This work absorbs all his attention, all his labors, and all his time. As he becomes accustomed to this practice and, at the same time, arranges and organizes his inner state, he naturally enters more and more into himself, gathers himself inward, and establishes the foundation of constant inner abiding. This is the goal of initial ascetical practice, the entrance into oneself. At the very time when a person begins to establish himself in himself, little by little the chief goal opens before him, which he should seek and which before was as if hidden behind the multitude of labors. But also of itself naturally, as one departs from the realm of passions, the chief striving and yearning of our spirit should become evident, for the sake of extending the sphere of which all this labor is undertaken. This goal and striving is yearning toward God as the supreme good. It becomes possible under the condition of tasting the sweetness of life in God or perceiving—how good God is; therefore it does not appear all at once. At first fear lies upon a person: he serves like a slave, by duty, obligation, which he became aware of in the moment of awakening. Then fear abates and, without disappearing, gives place to sweetness in serving the Lord, the sense of pleasantness in Him. The appearance of this is the appearance of the first reviving of the soul for God, the vision of its bright goal. When this yearning appears, it then begins to grow of itself in that same order in the midst of which it was born. However, one must not wait for it alone and remain inactive regarding it; no, a person must himself act in a certain way so as to help the speedier opening of this yearning. For this, the inner positive activity assigned earlier is chiefly intended, but all deeds, as they are performed, insofar as they are performed not going outward, are capable of rendering help to this yearning, of growing and strengthening it with trust in all from God and the offering of all to God’s glory. This should be the spirit of all the shown labor; otherwise it will remain barren and, what is especially important, a person cannot bear its burden without this inner strength given to him. Thus the former ascetical practices can develop yearning toward God, but one must direct them toward this by a particular inner disposition, which must be maintained while passing through them.