How Does the Christian Life Begin in Us?

We must clarify for ourselves when and how true Christian life begins, so that we can see whether the beginning of such a life has been laid in us, and if it has not been laid, know how to lay it, to the extent that depends on us. It is not yet a decisive sign of true life in Christ if someone is called a Christian and belongs to the Church of Christ. “Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the Kingdom” (Mt. 7:21). And “not all who are of Israel are Israel” (Rom. 9:6). One can be among Christians and not be a Christian. Everyone knows this.

There is a moment, and a very noticeable moment, clearly marked in the course of our life, when someone begins to live as a Christian. This is the moment when the distinctive characteristics of Christian life begin to show themselves in that person. Christian life is zeal and power to abide in communion with God, active, through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, with the help of God’s grace, by fulfilling His holy will, for the glory of His most holy name. The essence of Christian life consists in communion with God in Christ Jesus our Lord—in communion that is at first usually hidden not only from others but from oneself. The visible or inwardly felt witness to it is the fervor of active zeal, exclusively for Christian pleasing of God, with complete self-denial and hatred of all that opposes it. Thus, when this fervor of zeal begins, the beginning of Christian life is laid; and whoever keeps it constantly active lives as a Christian.

We must stop and dwell a little longer on this distinctive characteristic.

“I have come to cast fire on the earth”, says the Savior, “and how I wish that it were already kindled” (Lk. 12:49). He says this of Christian life, and He says it because the visible witness to it is zeal for pleasing God, kindled in the heart by the Spirit of God, which is like fire, for just as fire consumes the substance in which it is implanted, so zeal for life in Christ consumes the soul that has received it. And just as during a fire flames engulf an entire building, so too the kindled fire of zeal embraces and fills the entire being of a person.

In another place the Lord says: “Everyone will be salted with fire” (Mk. 9:49). This is a reference to the fire of the spirit, zeal penetrating all our being. Just as salt, penetrating perishable matter, preserves it from decay, so too the spirit of zeal, penetrating all our being, drives out sin, which corrupts our nature both in soul and body, from even the smallest corners and hiding places, and thus saves us from moral corruption and decay.

Apostle Paul commands: “Do not quench the Spirit” (1 Thess. 5:19), to be “diligent and not lazy, fervent in spirit” (Rom. 12:11)—he commands this to all Christians, so that they remember that fervor of the spirit, or diligent zeal, is an inseparable property of Christian life. Elsewhere he speaks of himself: “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13–14); and he urges others: “Run in such a way as to get the prize” (1 Cor. 9:24). Thus in Christian life, as a consequence of zealous fervor, there is a certain swiftness and spiritual liveliness with which good works are undertaken, trampling self and willingly offering to God all kinds of labor without sparing oneself.

On this understanding, one can easily conclude that cold performance of Church rules, like the regularity in works established by calculating reason, propriety, orderliness, and honesty in conduct, are not yet decisive signs that true Christian life is working in us. All this is good, but as soon as it does not bear the spirit of life in Christ Jesus, it has no value before God. Works of this kind are like lifeless idols. And a good clock runs correctly, but who would say that there is life in it? So too here: often people only have the “name that they are alive”, while actually being “dead” (cf. Rev. 3:1). This propriety of conduct is most apt to lead into delusion. Its true significance depends on inward dispositions, in which there can be significant deviations from essential truth even in outwardly right deeds. As one can refrain outwardly from sinful deeds yet harbor fondness for them or secret pleasure in the heart, so too one can do outwardly right deeds yet not have heartfelt inclination toward them. Only true zeal both wants to accomplish good in all fullness and purity, and pursues sin to its smallest shades. It seeks the former as essential bread, treats the latter as a mortal enemy. A man hates his enemy not only in his own person but hates his relatives and acquaintances, even his things, his favorite colors—everything that somehow reminds him of the enemy. So too is it with zeal for true pleasing of God: it pursues sin in even the smallest reminders or hints of it, for it is zealous for complete purity. Without this, how much uncleanness could lodge in the heart!

What success can be expected when there is no forceful zeal for Christian pleasing of God? In what there is no effort, there will still be some performance; but as soon as intensified effort or some self-sacrifice is required—refusal immediately follows, from the impossibility of mastering oneself. For then there is nothing to lean on to move oneself to good action; self-pity will undermine all supports. If some other motivation mixes in besides the one indicated, it will make even a good deed into a bad one. The Israelite spies under Moses were afraid because they pitied themselves. Martyrs went willingly to death because they were burned by the inner fire. A true zealot not only does what is commanded but also the counsels and every good inspiration secretly imprinted on the soul; he does not only what appears required but is inventive in doing good, wholly occupied with one enduring, true, eternal good. “Everywhere we need,” says Saint John Chrysostom, “diligence and much enkindling of the soul, ready to array itself against death itself; for otherwise it is impossible to receive the Kingdom” (Homily 31 on Acts).

The work of piety and communion with God is a work of great labor and much pain, especially at first. Where can one find strength to undertake all these labors? Through the help of God’s grace, inspired by zeal. The merchant, the soldier, the judge, the scholar labor in demanding and difficult service. What sustains them in their labors? Enthusiasm and love for their work. No other thing can sustain one on the path of piety. Without it we will find servitude to God to be weariness, heaviness, tedium, sluggishness. A tortoise moves, but with difficulty, whereas for a swift doe or nimble squirrel, motion and movement are a delight. Zealous pleasing of God is a joyful, spirit-lifting journey to God. Without it everything can be ruined. One must do everything for God’s glory, in defiance of the sin living in us; without this we will do everything only from habit, from the demands of propriety, because it has been done this way long ago and so others do it. One must do everything; otherwise we will do some things and not others, without any contrition or even memory of what we have omitted. One must do everything with attention and care, as the main work; otherwise we will do things as they happen.

Thus, it is clear that without zeal a Christian is a poor Christian—lukewarm, weak, lifeless, neither hot nor cold—and such a life is not life. Knowing this, let us strive to show ourselves as true zealots of good works, so as to be truly pleasing to God, having no blemish or fault or anything of that kind.

Thus, the true sign of Christian life is the fire of active zeal for pleasing God. The question now arises: how is this fire kindled? Who produces it?

Such zeal is produced by the action of grace, yet not without the participation of our free will. Christian life is not a natural life. Its beginning, or first awakening, must be likewise. As in a seed plant life awakens when moisture and warmth penetrate the hidden germ within, and through them the life-giving force of all restoration, so too in us Divine life awakens when the Spirit of God penetrates the heart and lays there the beginning of life according to the spirit, cleanses and gathers into unity the darkened and broken features of the image of God. Desire awakens and free seeking (by outward action); then grace descends (through the Mysteries) and, joined with freedom, generates mighty zeal. Let no one think to generate such a force of life by himself: one must pray for it and be ready to receive it. The fire of zeal with power—this is the grace of the Lord. The Spirit of God, descending into the heart, begins to act in it not with consuming zeal only, but with all-working zeal.

Some think to themselves: why is this action of grace needed? Can we not do good deeds ourselves? We have done this and that good deed. We will live and do something more. Few, perhaps, have not stopped at this question. Some say we cannot do any good by ourselves. But here the matter is not about individual good deeds, but about transformation of the entire life, about a new life, about life in its totality—such a life as leads to salvation. It is easy to do something good by chance, even something very good, as the pagans also did. But let someone deliberately determine himself to unceasing good works, determine their order according to the direction of God’s word—and this not for one month or year, but for the whole of life—and decide to abide unchangingly in this order, and then, when he has remained faithful to it, let him boast of his strength; but without that, is it not better to keep silent? How many and how often have there been attempts at self-made initiation and ordering of Christian life? And all of them have ended and do end in nothing. A person stands a little while in the newly chosen order—and abandons it. How could it be otherwise? There is no strength. Only the eternal power of God is suited to keep us unchanged in our disposition amid the ceaseless waves of temporal changes. Therefore, one must be filled with this power, seek it out and receive it in due manner—and it will lift us up and draw us out from this turmoil of the temporal.

Turn again to experience and see when thoughts of self-sufficiency arise. When a person is in a peaceful state, when nothing disturbs him, nothing tempts or draws him to sin, then he is ready for the most holy and pure life. But as soon as a passion stirs or temptation comes—where are all the vows? Does not a person often say to himself, living an intemperate life: now I will not do this anymore? But once the appetite for the passion is sated, a new urge arises, and he appears in sin again. It is easy to discourse about bearing injuries when everything goes according to our will, not contrary to self-love. Here it might seem strange that one feels offense or resentment, to which others give way. But if one were in such a position oneself, then not just a word but even a look would provoke an outburst. One can thus in self-confidence dream of the possibility of leading a Christian life by oneself, without higher help, when the spirit is calm. But when the evil lying at the bottom of the heart is stirred up like dust by the wind, each will find in personal experience the condemnation of his arrogance. When thought after thought, desire after desire—each worse than the last—begin to trouble the soul, everyone will forget himself and involuntarily cry out with the prophet: “Waters have risen to my soul; I have become mired in the deep mud” (Ps. 68:2–3). “O Lord, save me! O Lord, come quickly!” (Ps. 117:25).

Is it not often the case that someone dreams in self-assurance of abiding in good? But then an image appears or a thing comes to mind, desire is born, passion is aroused; the person is carried away and falls. After this one should only look at oneself and say: how bad this is! But then a chance for distraction appears, and one is ready to forget himself again. Further, someone offended: argument begins, reproaches, judgment; an unjust but advantageous deal is presented—and one takes it up too: one person was humiliated, another shared with, a third was displaced from his place—and all this after boasting of the ability to conduct oneself holily without special help from above. Where then is the strength? “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Mt. 26:41). You see good and do evil: “When I want to do good, evil is at hand” (Rom. 7:21). We are captives: ransom us, Lord!

One of the first enemy attacks on us is the thought of self-assurance, that is, if not a rejection of the need for grace’s help, then not feeling such a need. The enemy speaks, as it were, thus: “Do not go there—to the light, where they want to give you some new powers! You are fine with me.” And the person gives himself over to ease. Meanwhile the enemy—here throws a stone (troubles), there leads one onto slippery ground (the allurements of passion), here scatters flowers over hidden snares (pleasant circumstances). Not looking about, the person rushes ever further and further, not realizing that he is descending ever lower and lower, until finally he reaches the very bottom of evil—to the very threshold of hell. Is it not necessary in such a case to cry out to him as to the first Adam: “Man, where are you? Where have you gone?” This very cry is the action of grace, which makes the sinner for the first time look at himself.

Thus, if you desire to begin living as a Christian, seek grace. The moment when grace descends and unites with your will will be the moment of the birth of strong, firm, fruitful Christian life.

Where can one find and how can one receive grace that begins life? The acquisition of grace and the sanctification of our nature by it is accomplished in the Mysteries. Here we present ourselves to God’s action, or we offer God our worthless nature—and He by His action transforms it. It pleased God, to strike at our proud intellect, at the very beginning of true life to hide His power under the veil of simple matter. How this happens, we do not comprehend, but the experience of all Christendom testifies that it does not happen otherwise.

There are two Mysteries that relate especially to the beginning of Christian life: baptism and repentance. Therefore the rules concerning the beginning of true Christian life are gathered, some around baptism, and others around repentance.