The Reformation of Life Consists Not in Rearranging Outward Circumstances but in a Change of Spirit, With Readiness to Struggle Against Obstacles. The Various Means by Which the Enemy Tries to Turn Aside Those Setting Out on the Path of True Life

Your last letter was a true holiday for me. How your mind is brightening, and the decisions of your heart are taking a true and saving direction!

So, you have resolved to do everything as it ought to be done. God grant it! All your intentions for the new order of life ahead are good. But lest in your fervor you should bend this matter—even if it were to the right side[1] — I hasten to say a few things to guide you.

Take care: as you rebuild everything, give more attention to the inward than to the outward. The outward can for now be left as it is, with the exception of whatever by its very nature acts harmfully on the heart—filling it with vanity, scattering the thoughts, crowding in unnecessary desires, and the like. The rebuilding will of course need to touch the outward order as well, but not so much in its form as in the spirit with which it is to be done. If this is how it is done, then the outward will remain more or less as it was, with minor exceptions, but the spirit throughout will be altogether different. The benefit of not too sharply breaking up the outward order is that your change will not be striking to anyone else.

The second thing you need to keep in mind you already have—namely, not to think that what you have set out to do will come easily to fulfillment. How many hindrances there are, from without and from within! And you do well to prepare yourself to enter not upon a flowery path but upon a struggle. Yes, indeed! Prepare yourself for struggle, and ask the Lord constantly to grant you strength to bear everything adverse and obstructing that you encounter. Do not rely on yourself. Place all your hope in the Lord—and His help will always be with you.

But while preparing for struggle, do not think that you will always triumph. Often you will be able only to endure, bearing the burden alone. Often you will find that, despite all your desire to be upright, slips and failures creep in and break through. Know in advance that all of this is in the nature of things. When it happens—do not be terrified. Foresee this now, and do not expect any other kind of life ahead than one amid all sorts of resistance, agitation, and failure.

Lay in only one provision—firm courage to stand in the undertaking you have begun, regardless of everything. This alone must now be established for your whole life, sealed by a vow and a firm resolve. As for how life will go, what successes and failures there will be, how others will receive all this—leave all of that to the will of God.

From the experiences noted in the lives of the saints, it is evident that the Lord leads to perfection in different ways those who cling to Him with warm love and consecrate their life to Him. He does permit the enemy to act in a hostile manner, yet He does not withdraw His helping right hand during this. Everything is from God. But His ways are wondrous and, above all, hidden. Even the one being guided perceives them only afterward, looking back. How fitting, therefore, is the ever-present prayer: “By whatever ways Thou knowest, save me!” And along with that prayer—the entrusting of oneself into the hands of God—complete and irrevocable.

And the enemy will not be idle. The holy ones of God have observed that he acts upon beginners in two ways: with some he does not interfere at all and offers no opposition whatsoever. These, meeting no hindrances either inwardly or outwardly and seeing that everything is going so smoothly, begin to fancy: “Look at us—we have scattered all our enemies at once, and they dare not show themselves.” As soon as such thoughts take root, the enemy at once arrives and begins to develop vainglorious imaginings, from which springs self-assurance and forgetfulness of God’s help—the ceasing to seek it, and therefore the losing of it. As soon as matters reach this point, the enemy begins to act tyrannically—stirring up evil within and strong resistance from without—and the poor self-reliant soul falls. Such cases are not uncommon. Please take note of this right now, while you are thinking about how to order your life, so that when you begin the new life and everything goes smoothly, you will not become puffed up about yourself—but will recognize in this a trap of the enemy, the most dangerous kind—and will redouble your caution and vigilance in the work. Any perfection that is even slightly noticeable comes after long labors and long years, not from the very first beginnings and the very first days.

On others, on the contrary, the enemy attacks from the very first days with all his force and fury, so that the person who has just begun becomes utterly at a loss. Wherever he turns, everything is against him—in thoughts, in feelings, and outwardly he sees only that which crosses his good intentions, with nothing favorable anywhere. The enemy does this in order to frighten the newcomer from the very outset and force him to abandon his good intentions and turn back to a careless and inattentive life. But as soon as he sees that the newcomer does not give in but stands firm, he immediately retreats himself. For courageous standing against the enemy earns crowns for those who labor, and he has no wish to provide them. So keep this in mind, so that in the event of a powerful onslaught of adversity you do not lose heart at once, knowing that this is a device of the enemy—one he will abandon the moment he notices steadfastness.

You do very well not to see flowers ahead. That is the true view of the matter. And prepare yourself for steadfastness. In the meantime, save your soul. There are still some things I need to say to you, but that is for another time.