Final Counsel Before Confession and Communion

The time for confession has now arrived, and after it the sweetest moment of receiving the Holy Mysteries of Christ! May the Lord grant you to accomplish both with fitting reverence. And in both, all the labors of your preparation and everything you have planned here will be sealed with the seal of God.

But why is it, as you write, that you are afraid to go to confession? This does happen with many people, but why should it happen with you? Please clarify the matter to yourself. The one who hears confession is only a witness—it is the Lord Who receives the sins, and it is He Who commands the spiritual father to grant absolution to the one confessing. The Lord, moreover, is all mercy. He only waits for someone to confess his sin, and the moment anyone names his sins, forgiveness is given at once. Should one be afraid of such a Lord?

This fearfulness comes in part from a lack of clarity about what exactly one must say in the confessional. But when you have done everything as directed, it will all be clear to you. And there will be nothing to fear.

This fearfulness also comes from the fact that we confess rarely. If we confessed more frequently, we would not be so afraid. God grant that from now on you will approach the table of the Lord more often—and therefore confess more often.

Here is what you should do, however. Write down everything you find necessary to reveal in confession, and when you come to the spiritual father, tell him everything with the help of your notes. Proper confession must be one’s own—that is, the one confessing must herself tell what she is guilty of, and not wait for the spiritual father to ask. This habit has taken hold with us, and confession rarely goes as it should. The confessor by necessity asks a great deal that does not apply to the one confessing, and what is needed he may happen not to ask. And so it passes by without being confessed. To tell yourself what lies on your conscience, without notes, is also possible if you trust yourself to remember everything—only be sure to tell it all yourself. May the Lord bless you to confess with a spirit of contrition and with a firm resolve to be in all things upright afterward—but without any fearfulness whatsoever, for it is entirely unnecessary and gets in the way.

I was called away from this letter for a while and the thread of thoughts I had intended to convey to you was broken.

So then, when fear of confession comes—drive it away. Reverent fear before God is a most precious thing, but this childish fearfulness you have is the work of the enemy. In practice there is no cause for it whatsoever—it is simply something the enemy breathes in. Go to the Lord calmly, though with contrition of heart; go as the wayward son in the parable went to his father. The father did not scold or reproach the returning son, but stretched out his arms to him and embraced him (Lk. 15:20). The same is ready for you. The Lord’s arms are already stretched out to you. It remains for you to throw yourself into them. And do this with reverent love.

The chief thing in repentance is grief of heart over one’s failure before the Lord, and the firm intention to strive to be in all things upright from this point forward. Your resolve to please the Lord you have already declared, and the Lord, Who sees all things, has surely already received it. But is there grief of heart over your failings? Take the trouble to stir it up. However few your sins may be, and however trifling they may appear, they are nonetheless sins and stand under God’s displeasure. How ashamed we sometimes are before people on account of some empty careless word or gesture! But here it is the Lord, and not something empty, but sins. Find the wisdom to grieve and to ache before the Lord over all of it. From this contrition there will afterward flow the strength not to fall into failings.

You had planned to review everything thoroughly once more and rearrange it. Perhaps you did not manage to do it all, or did not do it as fully as you had planned—do not be troubled by that. What the Lord values is your chief intention and resolve to be in all things upright before Him. It is for that that there is forgiveness of sins and cleansing of grace. Go to the Lord with this firm intention to be upright—as the equivalent of all the failings you have already recognized and those yet to be recognized. Bring to the Lord the firm intention to fulfill faithfully everything that your conscience now considers obligatory for you, and whatever it will find to be obligatory afterward; do not be troubled by anything else.

It is better to confess in the evening before Communion, so that the night and the morning may be devoted entirely to thoughts about the receiving of the Lord. Read at that time the sermons before Holy Communion in the small book I gave you. Or else simply sit and think about the Lord, praying to Him in your heart: “Lord, arrange with me and within me as You will—only do not deprive me of communion with You.” And keep praying this brief prayer, adding bows to it. If you put off confession until the morning, then in the evening the mind will be divided and the result will be a kind of confusion.

When you approach the Holy Mysteries, approach in simplicity of heart, with full faith that you are receiving the Lord into yourself, and with the reverence befitting this. What is to take place in the soul afterward, leave to the Lord Himself to bring about. Many beforehand long to receive this or that from Holy Communion, and then, not seeing it, become troubled and even waver in their faith in the power of the sacrament. The fault lies not in the sacrament but in these excessive expectations. Promise yourself nothing, but entrust everything to the Lord, asking of Him one mercy only: to strengthen you for every good thing in pleasing Him. The fruit of Communion is most often felt in the heart as a sweet peace; sometimes it brings illumination of thought and fervor in devotion to the Lord; sometimes almost nothing is perceptible at the time, but afterward in daily life a greater strength and steadfastness appears in the promised uprightness. I will note here as well that we do not see the tangible fruits of Holy Communion because we commune rarely. Resolve to receive Communion as frequently as possible—and you will see the consoling fruits of this sacrament.

All this time I am praying and will continue to pray that the Lord will help you approach these two sacraments unto the full renewal of your spirit. And in all that your soul desires of good, may the Lord be your helper!