Final Anxieties and Disturbances. Entrusting One’s Fate Into the Hands of God With Prayer and Courage Against the Enemy Who Sends Temptations

May the mercy of God be with you!

You are still troubled. And tell me, where would troubles come from in your situation! Your outward circumstances are good, your inner life has been reviewed and set in order by us together and sealed by your own resolve. Where, then, can troubles come from? It is all the enemy, all the enemy. There is nowhere else they could be coming from.

Or perhaps there is this one other possibility as well. Are you not thinking that you can arrange your life by yourself, by your own efforts and your own skill—even if according to what has been laid out? Look carefully, and if this is even slightly true, make haste to correct it. With that disposition you will find troubles without end. Here is what to do. Be so good as to review, or mentally rehearse, everything that has been laid out—what took place within you, and how you finally resolved the matter of your life—and direct this review in such a way that at its end there emerges a firm resolve: that you must irrevocably commit your fate into God’s hands. Then stand at prayer, and after praying earnestly, speak from your heart before the Lord: “Into Your hands, O Lord, I commit my fate. As You see fit, so arrange my life, with all its connections and contingencies. From this moment I cut off all self-concern, taking on one concern only—always to do what is well-pleasing before You.” Say this, and then in actual deed commit yourself entirely into God’s hands—not worrying about anything, but receiving every circumstance calmly, as something specifically arranged by God for you, whether pleasant or unpleasant. Your concern must consist only in this: to act according to God’s commandment in every situation. This ”one thing” is ”needful” for you (Luke 10:41–42).

As soon as you attain this disposition, all anxieties will end. Right now you are caring for yourself on your own, and trying to arrange and turn every contingency your way. Since nothing fits together, you suffer because this is not right and that is not like this. But when you commit everything to the Lord and receive it all as coming from Him and beneficial for you, you will have no anxiety at all. You will simply look around to see what the Lord is sending, so as to act according to the meaning of what is sent. Every situation can be brought under a commandment. Bring it, and act according to the commandment, striving to please God rather than straining to satisfy your own wish. Understand well what I am speaking about, and resolve to attain such a disposition. One must learn it; it cannot come all at once. And pray for this.

I pray to the Lord to free you from the situation you consider unpleasant—adding, however: if it be pleasing to His holy will and salvific for you. And He will free you, of course, in His own time. Clothe yourself in this faith and be patient. Even looking simply at the passing states of life, we see that they change without ceasing. Nothing stands still. What burdens you will also change. Days will come when you will breathe freely, and not only breathe but flutter like a butterfly among flowers—but one must endure the appointed term of patience. A housewife puts a pie in the oven and does not take it out until she is certain it has baked through. The Master of the world has placed you in the oven as well and keeps you there, waiting until you have been baked through. So be patient and wait. The moment you are done, you will not sit in the oven a single minute longer. You will be taken out at once. If you try to pull yourself out prematurely, you will be like an underbaked pie. Arm yourself, then, with patience. I will add one more thing: according to our faith, whoever bears the unpleasantnesses that arise with cheerfulness, receiving them as from the hand of the Lord, becomes a partaker of martyrdom. Be so good as to impress this firmly on your mind and let it breathe consolation into your heart.

It is impossible to live without feelings, but it is unlawful to surrender to them. They must be refreshed and moderated by reason, and given a proper direction. You are impressionable, and your heart floods your head. Do as I have already written to you: think ahead about what feelings might be stirred in any given situation, and enter those circumstances keeping yourself on guard against agitation of the heart—that is, keeping your heart in firm hands. This must be practiced, and through practice one can attain full mastery over oneself.

But everything comes from God. To Him one must also flee. Yet you write that you do not pray. My clever girl! What, have you enrolled yourself among the pagans? How can one not pray? Do not read only prepared prayers, but also tell Him in your own words what is on your soul, and ask for help. “You see, O Lord, what is going on within me? This and that. I cannot manage myself. Help me, All-merciful One!” And tell Him every little piece of your need, and for everything ask the corresponding help. This will be the most genuine prayer there is. One can always pray in one’s own prayer, without reading printed prayers—as long as there is no giving in to laziness.

But why do you listen to the one who suggests you abandon prayer? Do you not see that it is the enemy? Plainly the enemy. He buzzes in your ears: give it up; and sometimes, as though seizing hold of your whole body, he drags you off to bed as quickly as possible. These are all his tricks. He does his work, drawing you away from good things. But we must do our own work, not turning away from what is good until we have finished. So be so good as to arm yourself with courage and do not listen to the enemy, and pay no attention to his buzzing. Better still, get angry. Anger at the enemy is the same as a punch to someone’s chest. He will fly off at once.

With all my heart I wish that you would finally find peace.

The Lord bless you!