Calm After the Storm of Temptations Raised by the Enemy. Preparing to Return Home. A Final Word of Counsel

May the mercy of God be with you!

Well, glory to God! You began to oppose your anxieties with prayer—or rather, the enemy who was stirring them up—and peace came. May the Lord help you to continue acting in this way.

So you see what a storm you have passed through! Upon you has been fulfilled the Lord’s word: ”Satan demands… to sift you like wheat” (Luke 22:31). Where all did he not toss you! The Lord permitted it, and he sifted you: throwing you one way, then another. What a mercy of God that you have at last been delivered! Now learn from this. The knowledge of life is gained through experience. Recall carefully everything that happened to you throughout the entire duration of that bad state, and define it as precisely as you can. All that time you were under the attacks of the enemy. And now you know what those attacks are like, how they come and how they depart. By this you will recognize them in the future, when you again find yourself under enemy fire. The enemy always disguises himself under the semblance of rightness. But do not look at that—look rather at what happens in the soul: namely, incessant anxiety and vague indefiniteness. By this you can immediately guess that the enemy has drawn near—and drive him away mercilessly by rejection and prayer. God’s working, on the other hand, is always luminous. It was your Guardian Angel whispering words of comfort into your ear. Learn to listen to him, and he will teach you all things.

I am very glad that you have returned to your path. And be so good as to work on yourself, preparing for where you have set your sights. The enemy urges haste. He always makes a commotion to throw things into confusion. But what is of God proceeds peacefully and quietly. There is no other way—one must wait. Everything has its hour. When the hour comes, you will slide down like a sled on a hill, as I have already written.

You are preparing to go to the country and are dreaming of the delights of country life. Well done, well done! That life is the real thing. In cities—and still more in the capitals—there is no reality. There everyone plays a comedy. God grant that you quickly and safely reach that place where you grew up and were raised so peacefully. What will you remember of your time in the ancient capital? It certainly gave you a good education—and especially toward the end, it gave you quite a thorough roasting on the frying pan.

In the country you will be an anchoress. I am adding something of my own to your dreams. Find a natural cave, or dig one with your own hands. On one side, if possible, let there be a small spring; on the other—some fruit tree; in front—a little flower garden. To the tree and the flowers attract a few singing birds. Rise early, and withdrawing to this place, sing the praise of the Creator of all things together with the little birds!

O Lord, bless your journey!