The Sinner’s Awareness of His Ruinous Condition (Vv. 4–8)

Ps. 37:4. There is no peace in my bones because of my sins.

In the second hemistich of the 4th verse, the holy Prophet turns to depicting his own disastrous sinful state. «There is,» he says, «no peace in my bones,»—peace means rest, as if to say: in the very marrow of my bones I feel unbearable pains, and this deprives me of rest, or peace meaning harmony. Bones are often understood in the psalms (Ps. 6:3, 30:11, 50:10) to mean the foundations of bodily composition, but more often to mean the powers of all human existence. The words: «there is no peace in my bones» thus give the thought

that the inner powers from sin have come into discord, have scattered, and begun to act one against another. «There is no firmness and well-being of soul and body» (Zigabenus). And this because of sin. Sins have entered into the composition and act destructively, disarranging everything. «The strength of my soul is exhausted, and this is because of sins» (Athanasius the Great). «The image of sin, never departing from memory, does not leave me in peace and rest, but troubles my bones, i.e., my thoughts» (Antiphanes). «The pricks of conscience goad and spread turmoil and enmity throughout my whole being» (Zigabenus).

Flesh and bones are the whole composition, all of man’s being. The sinner suffers: on the one hand from above from the wrath of God, and on the other from sin itself. God’s wrath cuts off blessing, and therefore the inflow of life-giving powers; and here sin itself acts as a devouring hell. From this, good does not increase but evil grows. And «there is no wholeness»—in the first respect; for God’s goodwill is necessary for the fullness of our life; «there is no peace» in the second—dissolution and disorder of powers begin: there begins war of body against spirit, heart against mind, passions against

conscience, and so forth. Sin is evil not only in that it attracts God’s wrath from without; but in itself it is a poison-bearing evil. There is no peace—the direct fruit of sin within us.

Ps. 37:5. For my iniquities have gone over my head; as a heavy burden they have become heavy upon me.

The second cause of the bitterness of the sinful state is the multitude of sins and their weight. Multitude of sins is expressed in the words: «my iniquities have gone over my head.» The quantity is determined here either by a heap of sand so high that it rose above the head, «or» by a gathering of water in which the sinner has sunk with his head, «or» by the number of hairs on the head, in the thought that sins are more numerous than hairs, as in another psalm: «my sins are more than the hairs of my head» (Ps. 59:13). Sin does not come alone. Just as each idea has a circle of kindred ideas, which it draws to itself whenever it comes to mind: so too, in the active sphere, every sin

has its own circle of related sinful feelings and deeds, which it always gathers around itself. The sin with Bathsheba—what a circle of sins it gathered around itself!—Adultery, murder, deception, scandal, and so forth. Until the appearance of the prophet Nathan, there is no indication that St. David was conscious of his sin. Having become conscious of it, he was horrified; for it was great and bound up with a multitude of other sins. And this happens with every sinner. He sins and sins, as if there were nothing particularly wrong with him. But when he later perceives his sinfulness, his whole life is revealed to him in a different light. At every step he sees sin; his entire life appears full of corruption and willfulness. And then he begins to grieve: my sins are more than the hairs of my head; I have sunk deep in the mire of sin (Ps. 68:3).

With awareness of the numerousness of sins comes also to the repenting heart an awareness and sense of their weight. «Like a heavy burden, they become heavy,» he says—they press and weigh by their number and by their own greatness, to which he then adds: «I have been bent low.» So heavy that I have bowed. This is but a metaphor, yet it very accurately expresses the matter. To weigh, to press, to crush—this is in the nature of sins. Everything rises up and presses upon the sinning man; for he enters into discord with all that exists, remaining in the will of God. When all creatures act according to God’s will, he alone steps out of that will. All of them act hostilely upon him and crush him like wheels over a foreign thing caught among them. The sinner walks as though crushed by something; only it does not occur to him to attribute this state to sin as its cause, all the while he is gratified by sin. It is repentance that makes him feel that sin so weighs upon him, giving it life to conscience and pointing out to him where the oppression comes from; but this perception does not lighten the burden but multiplies it tenfold (Athanasius the Great). And so the Lord calls such as labor in repentance and feel themselves burdened, to come to Him that He may give them rest (Zigabenus). Indeed, until the sinner rises to hope of mercy and receives release and certainty of forgiveness, it weighs like a mountain on the soul; but afterward it becomes light, as for one who casts off a heavy burden. What mercy—the Sacrament of Repentance!—

Ps. 37:6. My wounds have become foul and infected because of my foolishness.

«The wounds of my soul, arising from the arrows of the wicked one burning within, have become foul and infected. By this comparison he shows the corruption and putrefaction of the soul» (Zigabenus). But why did this happen? Because he did not come to his senses quickly and hastened not to heal the evil. «From the time of his adultery until the appearance of Nathan’s rebuke, David delayed in repenting and healing the wounds of his soul through repentance. The wounds of sin grew and festered from such a long time of remaining unhealed» (Irenaeus).

First he said that sins are many, then that they are heavy; now he says that they are wounds,

cut deep, entered within and act destructively (Zigabenus). A multitude of sins indicates only the quantity of separate deeds; but the repetition of the same deeds forms sinful habits, inclinations, passions. These are the festering wounds of the soul. A sin hastily abandoned is like a scratch or a splinter at once removed, while a sin loved and frequently repeated is like a splinter left behind, which festers and becomes a malignant abscess. A wound of the soul is formed—a vice, a passion, an evil inclination, which manifests itself also outwardly in conduct and is visible to all, as a foul odor from a wound is sensed by all around. And this is the third cause of the bitterness of the sinful state! Just as wounds and pain prevent and hinder action, so inclinations and passions, with their constant demands, torment, and by hindering good undertakings, do not allow free action.

A sin, cast off at once, resembles a scratch, or a splinter drawn out immediately; but a sin that is cherished and often repeated resembles a splinter left in, which festers and turns into a malignant abscess. A wound of the soul is formed—a vice, a passion, an evil inclination, which shows itself outwardly too, in one’s conduct, and becomes visible to all, as the foul smell of a wound is perceived by everyone around. — And in this lies the third cause of the bitterness of the sinful state! As wounds and pain cause suffering and hinder action, so inclinations and passions, by their ceaseless demands, torment a man, and, thwarting good undertakings, do not let him act freely.

As from wounds one cannot even move; so from sinful inclinations nothing good succeeds. The sinner is as if bound, as if in chains, and moreover in painful chains that have worked into his flesh.

«Because of my foolishness.» Because of my lack of wisdom and my negligence concerning the salvation of my soul I have been subjected to such miseries. I did not weigh the gravity of sin and did not make effort to avoid it—and so I suffer; like a fool who, playing with a serpent or a scorpion, receives a wound from which he then suffers and agonizes. «If the soul had not fallen into foolishness, it would not have suffered the wounds of sin» (Athanasius the Great). And what meaning is there in placing oneself in such a state?! Yet one does! At the time when sin attracts, the mind steps back with its soundness. Forward goes the heart allied with sin and commands. The mind obeys, devising means to satisfy evil desires. It is a servant under the yoke, not a king in the head. And this results in foolish action. While acting in this darkness, the sinner does not perceive it. But when he comes to himself, he clearly sees how foolish and senseless everything done was. It is only to the darkened mind that such action is possible. It seems even that the sinner is not the one acting, but is being acted upon: it seems to him that he is devising by his own mind, while in reality some other approaches and teaches him evil, or devises evil through his mind.

Ps. 37:7. I have been troubled and bowed down utterly; I go about all day long in sorrow.

The fourth cause of the bitterness of sinful state is the failing of strength and spirit. The sinner walks with head bowed, like a slain man.

«I have been troubled»—from the Greek: I became wretched, unhappy, bitter, exhausted and worn out, working for the passions (Zigabenus). The description is of a sinner, as in the prophet Isaiah: «my loins are filled with debility» (Is. 21:34). No energy remains; he does not wish to do anything; all undertakings, especially on the path of good, are abandoned. When sins begin to dominate, one after another the good habits of pleasing God, brotherly love, and temperance are forsaken. Later such thoughts no longer come to him. This realm is entirely forgotten, and the ability to act in this order is lost, and the understanding of those ordinances entirely falls from the head or becomes perverted.

«And I have been bent low,» I have become bowed, like a sick man who, weakened by illness, walks with head bowed and bent over. «Utterly,»—to the last extreme. Thus the sinful habits have bent me and bound me to fleshly pleasures, as if one bowed down to the ground with his head. «What does it mean to be bent low? asks Blessed Augustine, and answers: to have no strength to straighten up.»—This is the direct consequence of attachment to the earthly and enslavement of the flesh. «Such a one does not direct his mind upward toward the heavenly, but spends his life in vanities. Yet he is satisfied by nothing (Jas. 4:2); and consequently only torments and wearies himself» (Antiphanes).

«I go about all day long in sorrow.» «All day»—not one day alone, but every day, which is to say continually. «In sorrow,» from the Greek: darkly, with a gloomy face, in a gloomy state of mind. «I go about,» here and there I walked, finding no rest. «He who is defiled by the sin of lust suffers and becomes bent from the gnawing of conscience, from fear of God, from shame and disgrace, so that he cannot even lift his eyes to heaven. Unable to bear his gnawing and wounding conscience, he goes about daily troubled and sorrowful; for what joy has a man bent low by sin, when he begins to feel his sin?» (Irenaeus of Pskov). While sin still gratifies, a man sins with joy. But afterward all sensations become dulled, and only weariness remains from the exhaustion of strength spent in pursuit of sinful pleasures. And he walks with head bowed, seeing nothing consoling. Meanwhile, he grieves, but cannot help himself: habits have become firmly attached, and he has no strength to depart from them, but neither does he have joy in gratifying them (Athanasius the Great).

Blessed Theodoret paraphrases this passage thus: «The heavy burden of sins has made me bent; I am saddened by foolish enslavement to the passions. Therefore, bereft of all joy, I am continually grieved, troubled, and find no change in my sorrowful state.»

Ps. 37:8. My loins are filled with humiliation, and there is no healing in my flesh.

Here is the cause of all that precedes—both the number of sins, the wounds, and the debility. Why is all this? Because I have filled one part with humiliation, disgraced it by surrendering it to base lust. And so there is not a whole place in me anywhere.

«My loins»—from the Greek: my loins; from the Hebrew: the lower part of the belly. Blessed Theodoret writes: «By the word ‘loins,’ properly meaning the loins, he means to understand lust, because in the loins are found the kidneys, in which the desire naturally arises. Therefore he says: the reason for these miseries was that I turned my desire not to what was proper, but to lust.» Zigabenus: «Instead of ‘loins’ in Symmachus: ‘the lower part of the belly.’ Both denote that part in which carnal lust acts. He says: this part through lust has been filled with humiliation from the devil. He has humiliated it, stirring up inappropriate and unlawful movements of carnal uncleanness.»

By «humiliation» is understood here moral humiliation. Every man ought to be a servant of righteousness, and in this is his honor. When they make him a servant of unrighteousness, they dishonor him. The Prophet says: I have made this part a slave of sin and disgraced it. He does not mean that all saw this disgrace, but conscience pointed it out to him.

By flesh here is understood the whole composition of man—both soul and body, which suffer from sin, and namely the sins of lust are as it were only bodily, but they exhaust and disorder not the body alone, but equally the soul. (Basil the Great in Zigabenus).

The king who had sinned already was tormented by sin, but it seemed he did not see where the tormenting came from. When the prophet came and rebuked him, then only did he see what it all meant. I have filled one part with humiliation, he says, and behold, I am entirely, in all my parts, diseased, have become as a sick man; not a single part is whole. And every sinner is the same. Everything seems not to occur to him—that the main cause of his miserable state is the sin he serves. He sees that it is bad, yet continues to sin, thereby making it worse, like one drinking salt water who only kindles his thirst. Finally, somehow he realizes that the whole trouble is from sin: perhaps a priest tells him, a sermon explains it, the Gospel and Apostle direct his attention to it, a conversation with someone opens his eyes, or his Guardian Angel finds a moment in the darkness of night to implant good thoughts in his heart. Only then does he perceive… ah, that is why! My loins have been filled with humiliation, and I am wholly sick. That is, I serve such and such a sin, and it causes me harm, which I suffer both in soul and body.